@milashka2011

Если ты с утра на шее
Обнаружил вдруг укус, –
Не дрожи, то клоп постельный
Пробовал тебя на вкус.

Что они свихнулись там?
Никакого с ними сладу.
Хрен им, а не Шикотан.
Заберут пусть Хакамаду.

Был бы мой муж узкоглазый японец,
Был бы мой муж узкоглазый монгол...
Шустрый еврей или тормоз-эстонец,
Лишь бы он, гад, НЕНАВИДЕЛ футбол!!!

Я немного впала в ступор.
Богатырь - ни дать ни взять,
Но евойную фигульку
Даже в лупу не видать.

Застрял внутри мобильник в самом деле,
И третий день уж мучают звонки,
И на хрена геологов мы съели,
Рыдают крокодилы от тоски.

Лежал под яблоней Ньютон,
Ещё не знавший свой закон
И наблюдал за Симиренко,
Как тот подпиливает сук...

Для женщины,
для русской,
настоящей,
Куда бы рок её не заносил,
Когда нет скакунов и изб горящих,
Сгодится амазонский крокодил.

Wife called me once "Bunny"
could hardly restrain emotions,
later I was called a loser
Now calling more often - "Adigrat"! :ignat

Ежели раскуришь два кальяна,
А потом на лыжах съедешь в реку,
Сразу и поймёшь, что обезьяна -
Самый близкий предок человека.

Вот, дожили, в конце концов!
Ну, времена для кур настали:
снесет из золота яйцо,
а ей статью о драгметаллах

Cock all the chickens were attrayant
But then did not rest
And far in the forest postdural
And there were excesses in eating.

Now he's vigata cake
But without any "ha ha"
the Cuckoo praised the cock
For what he really is!

The year of the Rat may be lucky and bright,
And the world will give it as a gift!
Gives Rat all the happiness, luck
And I in the Canary Islands - yacht and Villa.

She according to etiquette
Asked how are you doing?
And between the feet of the ladies of this
a Broom.

As the grandmother said the witch,
Hooking himself with belts to the stupa:
the Key to start! In the gas leg bone!
Well there you go! Can you hear me grandma at MCC-e?

My school friend coffee
But I prefer tea.
When they meet by chance...
Find vodka a compromise

- Here yesterday was a tea bag.
to Ask are: where is he now?!
- I threw it in the trash, Paradise –
There's a frayed thread, believe me!

-ay, composed for the emission of the reason!
Simon, how you not choke?!
Slipped God worthless man...
Shaw, still difficult thread to sew?!

Snowflakes everywhere joyous gamma...
Son and daughter shout: "Hurry let's go
And blind woman snow like a mother!!!"
"what are You??? So much snow we don't find!!!"

my Wife, of course, not a skinny girl...
But my joke was attended with evil...
With a flourish gave me a spool...
an hour later I woke up... Fracture...

I'm not one of the types that like slugs,
Stuck to the wives and homes!
I'm a free wolf! Rebel for life!
...right, mom?

At the door of the man
wants to go home.
Drunk and beautiful,
Sorry that's not mine.

Looking for lion I in this world of evil.
No luck... And I found a seal.
But seal, progresses, was a human.
Have to make him a deer!

I will long drive a Bicycle
And the doctor will stop him.
to drop his pants and show bouquet
From the girl I love...

Drank tea, it was all honor to honor,
As expected, then went into the shower.
But, suddenly, the most interesting place
middle of the night in the bedroom was a man...:yarost

The morning snowstorm inclement weather...
Drooping in the corner is a broom...
I drink coffee, and I fly hunting,
Fig Scoring fuck all!

Yesterday I freaked out... left the house...
Cotton door rattled with the evil "Damn!"
the Neighbors hid the noses of thunder...
Back, remembering... that I live alone...

Suddenly, a black cat – it will pass...
the tears and a glass half-full.
And if a horseshoe on happiness will find
to Know someone threw... hooves!

Dragging on the rope baton
Walked through the woods hedgehog... how bad was it.
curiosity widening his eyes,
Asked the prickly beast Fox
"Where in a hurry so the forest brother?
I see -- nor the sun, nor the herbs is not happy!
Oh, since you do not greet, smile at least...
His idea with me share.
Look, feel better, not hide a disease!"
"I'm hung – the hedgehog said – go!"
Just don't seem to surprise there is nothing,
However, ask -- "Loaf-then... why?
do me a favour and curiosity, here and answer me..."
"Who knows how long I'm gonna hang out?!"

In moments of despair to many of this
wisdom to understand!
Itself comes only shit...
For pearls you have to dive!!!

The water shone in the moonlight
On the banks of the bear sitting
Opened as the wrappers tent
and eating...:ignat

...Long-long crocodile sea blue extinguished.
Pies and pancakes, and dried mushrooms...
My question is blunt and flat:
— Smoking Korney Chukovsky?

One day the husband says to wife:
"Remember, dear daughter, we have one!
When our house come the grooms
And asking me for her hand
Then you need to talk, almost always,
With the dignity of one word, "YES."
not as you do.
From his stupidity and simplicity
Before the bridegroom falling on his knees,
Kiss his hands with emotion
And like a prisoner, not as a parent,
Shout: "O our deliverer!..."